Cussed, Vain, Probably Mad…Alan Green: A Defence

The first rule of broadcasting is never to tell members of the public they are wasting their time listening to you. It applies everywhere except on the football commentaries of BBC Radio 5 Live, which you should listen to even if you hate football, because in 90-minute doses you can enjoy journalism in its purest and most suicidally candid form. If a game is boring, 5 Live’s presenters say so. If overpaid players fail, they denounce them. If everyone from the spectators who have paid inflated prices for tickets to the 5 Live audience is wasting their time, they will point that out repeatedly and at length.

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One thought on “Cussed, Vain, Probably Mad…Alan Green: A Defence

  1. This is a terrible match, both teams are responsible for it and nothing, it seems, could happen to liven it up. It’s times like these I wish I was…wait a minute, what the hell’s going on over there?
    What’s this! Good God! There’s a streaker on the pitch, and what’s that he’s got in his hand? He’s waving what looks like a yellow manifesto!
    I can’t understand what it says from here but it is a brave and exciting thing to do on a night like this. The crowd are loving it. Who’d have thought!
    The game’s got a new lease of life. Thank (expletive deleted.)

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