Nick Cohen: Writing from London

It looks as if Robert Mugabe will die in his bed rather than in the prison cell where he so richly deserves to eke out his days. During his time as dictator of Zimbabwe, he has had just one intimation of the fear he has inspired in so many others.

On 30 October 1999, while Mugabe was visiting London, two men jumped in front of his car. A third stood behind, so the driver could not reverse away. A thin, neatly dressed Australian opened the passenger door. He held up his left hand, palm forward, to show that he was not carrying a gun. He laid his right hand on the tyrant’s shoulder and said: “Robert Mugabe, you are under arrest on charges of torture. I am now summoning the police.” Mugabe’s eyes popped, his jaw dropped and the blood drained from his face.

The police came, sure enough. But they showed their pinched priorities by arresting Peter Tatchell and his fellow gay activists. The moment is worth savouring, nevertheless. For a few seconds, Tatchell had succeeded in giving Mugabe a taste of how a just world would treat him.

Tatchell turns 60 this week. January 2012 also marks the 45th anniversary of his career as a human rights and gay rights activist. These labels have been so devalued I need to elaborate. Every respectable person claims to support human rights. In Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding’s Mr Darcy was no longer the wealthy landowner of Jane Austen’s imagination but a wealthy human rights lawyer.
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In which I talk about my You Can’t Read This Book which should be out in a fortnight. (You can preorder on Amazon here.) And also Thomas Frank’s marvellous demolition of the Tea Party – Pity the Billionaire.

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Another day at the Telegraph and another attack on Laurie Penny, this time for writing a short piece describing how she had received excellent treatment at a New York hospital. While she was on her sickbed, she reflected that in the States, ‘Those who are wealthy enough to afford decent healthcare have their needs met in relative luxury, while those who are poor live in fear of getting ill, worrying that one misadventure might leave you with yet more debts to pay off.’

This humane thought inspired one Daniel Knowles of the Telegraph to pen a whole column condemning Penny.
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Since you asked, Lord Grantham was in despair because his wife had grown distant from him. He makes eyes at a maid. The wench realises that such goings-on are not proper. She leaves her job without a word of complaint or a demand for compensation, as mistresses do, and the earl’s wife acknowledges that she had “neglected” his lordship. Everything is for the best in the best of all possible country houses. Fellowes crowbars the affair into about ten minutes of airtime spread in bitesize portions over two episodes and then moves on to the next dish.
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“The function of the artist as canary in the coalmine has long gone. It is unlikely that any historian will look to the arts of the first decade of the 21st century to find warnings of the economic collapse of the West.”

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The reaction to the Labour leader’s conference speech is one of the strangest sights I have seen in many years. Granted that much of the public think Miliband a geek, and that his tight election made him a leader with precious little legitimacy, but the contempt that greeted his unexceptional remarks remains extraordinary. In a moderate manner, Miliband told a truth about Britain.

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I thought as I left the court that a young and unscrupulous journalist, able to knock out 1,000 words on time and to length, needed to make just one choice before beginning a career as a columnist. If he wanted to work on a right-wing paper, he would develop an aversion to immigrants, trade unions, political correctness, theories of global warming and all public sector workers except members of the armed forces. He would defend free enterprise but still support the bailout of bankers at public expense and hope no one noticed the contradiction. If he wanted a career on a left-wing title, he would develop an aversion to all businessmen except pop stars, Jews (or “Zionists” as he would soon learn to call them), the police, and all members of the upper and upper-middle class apart from the great and the good of the public sector. He would say that he opposed homophobia, racism and misogyny but still make excuses for radical Islam and hope that no one noticed the contradiction.

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Speech to the National Secular Society on why those who demand respect for religion are the enemies of religious tolerance
Hear it here